Some changes to "Bradtastic Defined."

Things change, life changes… I’m old now. Damn it. What I wouldn’t give or do to repeat childhood… 

That’s impossible, but it’ll be okay, because I have other things in mind. I’m old now, but I’m not terribly, horribly, “face-all-wrinkly” or “falling-off-entirely” old. I stated before (more than once… oops) that I wanted to write more — that I was going to — and now, I kind of, actually, can! Exciting! 

Surprisingly, I’ve settled on fiction. Serendipity or insanity, time will tell, but inspiration struck violently and unexpectedly, and I can’t ignore it. Since, I’ve worked on my narrative prose, grammar (I’m close to knighthood in the Order of the TweeterGrammarton) and style. Style, because today, it’s about style over substance. Word. 

Been thinkin’ and thankin’

I’m considering writing serialized short stories. I’d post a new “chapter” each week on a (my) blog… dunno which one. Maybe this one. Maybe not. I have some unused cool domain names. 

Mostly, I’ve been sharing stories about dealing with pain and disability, and I’ve been educating others, raising awareness, and communicating with other people with problems. Specifically, I get that everyone has problems. Generally, I know that most people are doing okay. Life is a lot easier when your body works (somewhat) properly. 

Sometimes, I’ll try to pick something up and I’ll end up knocking it over, or I’ll want to make a fist, and instead, my arm starts shaking. My damned shoulder is hurting so bad at the moment. (Accidental “bang” — or bump or poke or whatever you want to call it — yesterday) 

Because it’s separate, and well, because I want to, I post my other stuff over there. Or here. But mostly at Bradtastic Defined, or www.bradchin.com (note: the ‘www’ is necessary, because TypePad says so. I know, it’s lame. Tell that to SAY). Because things are different now, I’ve changed the description and intent of the bradchin, a domain that used to host my inkblog. *(I used to love ink blogging… sigh) 

So here it is, from “Bradtastic” Defined, personal blog (with disability stuff):

The mostly accurate drama of the life of Brad Chin, presented in dramatic fashion in full-HD, 1080p, 3D on an LED TV without LSD, PCP or PVC… no MSG, not for sale on QVC or available on DVD, and I can guarantee — that that’s N.O.T. what she S.A.I.D.

If you want to know more… go there and read some. If you like it, you can help fund my first novel by sending a gift via Amazon (my wish list)! Also, my birthday is in 34 days… also known as “twenty five weekdays from today,” or “four weeks, six days,” or “one month and three days from today,” or expressed more ‘l33t,’ 1m3dr1zzleF1zzizzl. *(minus the 1zzles) 

Okay, that was odd. I get weird when I’m tired and hurting more than I do normally. I’m going to stop. I set this entry to post at 1:11 (afternoon), so make a wish… at 11:11 — because it’s likely past 1:11 now.

Something brewing.

# for the moment, it isn’t coffee.

However, it is morning. Another morning, another day, soon-to-be another weekend and another week — time does feel like it’s moving faster now. Some science channel show I’d seen mentioned that time seems to speed up as we get older, and for me, that’s certainly the case. In grade school, weeks seemed long, the school year lasted forever, and although summer seemed a bit short, I was involved in plenty of activities and got a lot of playing done, too.

It’s easier to lose sight of things now. I’ve always made an effort to plan things out — though the best laid plans often go astray — but now, my days just don’t last long enough. In addition, I used to have this Mercedes-Benz-*esque* attitude: the best, or nothing… though that was not their slogan at that time. Now it’s often about just GTD… getting things done. Good. Complete. But not necessarily perfect, rather, nearest as one can get.

## moving forward

### I’ve been giving less thought to this blog and blogs of mine in general; the concepts, the effort, the actual work involved, the purpose… thusly, I haven’t concluded anything. But I have thoughts.

1. I want to write more about living with a disability and getting by. Life in America is changing, and for the disabled, everything is harder — more complex. Work, relationships, fun, you name it. Don’t say “parking,” thinking that you’re clever, either. ([handicappedfraud](http://handicappedfraud.org) <— more thoughts on that, soon.)

1. I’d like to share more artwork, even if it’s just doodles. For posterity, even.

1. I’d like to fix my websites; I’d like to make them look prettier. Obviously, I can’t make it appeal to everyone, but right now, it’s a little messy.

1. I want to get Bradtastic back up and running something. It’s been down for too long. I have things that I could share there, and it could be valuable for people… including me.

1. I want to read and write more fiction. I’m not exposed to enough of it anymore. Sure, I’ve read some sappy teen vampire books and some Orson Scott Card, but I want to expand out. No Harry Potter, though — not then, not now. Please don’t try to tell me it’s great stuff; she’s a billionaire now, okay, I get it.

## レヂセタゴ ready, settago!

Yes, I will still play video games and mess around with iOS software. It’s fun, and practical; video games are indeed art, and it’s an industry bigger than music and movies — the iOS platform is only getting better, the apps are inexpensive and sometimes free, and can help organize, get things done, and importantly, reduce stress and increase happiness. Being disabled, fun is often rare, in only slightly greater supply than that elusive contentment and mythical “true happiness.”

However, I am now more selective about the games I play. I’m interested in story-based games, and will choose them over graphics and sometimes even gameplay. I rarely watch movies anymore — most of them, pure crap — so it’s a sort of trade-off… passive for interactive.

I have a fantastic set of stories stirring ‘round my mind, invading my dreams and bursting out every orifice. Sorry, gross visual. It’s just… I’ve never been this eager to share a piece of myself, and it’s fictional.

I do think that isolation is the mother of inspiration. Pure creativity — perhaps that’s more genetic. Combine it all, what do you get? Stuff like Teletubbies. Joyous day!

Update on Saturday, August 13, 2011 at 9:18 AM by Bradtastic

Going to make an attempt at fixing the markdown dilemma. I don’t understand what the @SquarespaceHelp account is for — all they ever do is write back, “submit a ticket.” 

Anyway… submit a ticket I have. We shall see. 

Surely, a changing world.

Recent events have put human technology and progress into context for me once again, as our planet has shown us all once again how much power we really have. It's been a trying time, a scary few weeks for some, and slightly comical, as well.

Japan gets hit by the strongest earthquake on record and tsunamis cause chaos—as Apple begins selling it's much anticipated iPad 2. Of course, this natural disaster is only the most recent; Haiti was hit, the US as well, we have soldiers half-way 'round the world, and there's some "unrest" (massive understatement) in Eqypt and Libya.

Oh, and NYTimes says blogs aren't as popular anymore. Go figure; microblogging has taken over—because ideas just shouldn't need more than 140 characters to get across. And then there's Tumblr.

News is generally depressing, the web is generally funny (or incorrect), and blogs? I wish I could share good news more often. The fact is, life is as hard as ever, the economy is still screwed up, 2012 approaches (* scared face) and the past few days have been sunny, hot and miserable. I really should've blogged last week; we had rain, and I loved it.

Living with a disability doesn't make sense to me, yet. I'm still not acclimated; I want to go do things, I want to experience things and move about in ways I just can't anymore, and the psychological toll is often as steep as the physical one. Every medication has a nasty side-effect, every controlled substance is a pain in the ass to get.

But it isn't all bad.

Things take more time and progress is slower, but I've learned a lot more with time to casually observe things instead of zipping by everyone and everything almost always. Perhaps that's what youth is supposed to be for; but we find out, some sooner than others, that invincibility is pure fantasy. Everything has its price; for every action, there's—well, the picture should be clear, even if I didn't include one with this post.

Surely, things are changing. Lucid dreams are a regular thing now, and in them, I get to explore beyond boundaries and constraints—I can literally float upward and push myself through the ceiling if I feel like it. Mastery of waking reality mightn't be so simple, but I don't know that yet—I'm still learning... and the world is still changing.

The world is falling apart.

How long can we fight entropy? I think about things that have meaning, and people, and wonder. Wondrous things, all around all of us—yet how often do we notice this? How many skylines are appreciated, how much art goes unseen? What are these words worth, and to whom?

I think, "what music am I missing?" [out on] and I listen. I feel something and I share it. I close my eyes and dream vividly. In art, worlds are created to supplement life and replace what crumbles.

I'm building some more.

Apart

Friends leave, people change, life goes on… until it stops. Some of us search for meaning, others ignore it.

With everything going on Earth, the complexities of society and social networking, politics, economy, war, religion, technology… I look to the vastness of the universe and our blue planet seems so insignificant. “interesting” and “worthwhile” are subjective — are they irrelevant? I suppose that’s also a matter of perspective. A friend of mine left on a red-eye flight across the country; she’ll be away for months, we’ll physically be apart, but I’m not sure how much will change for me. Our technology connects us and separates us; we can communicate effectively across continents, and just as effectively, we can use our computers to ignore our neighbors and stay in — instead of going out to meet friends. When deep space travel becomes a reality, what then? Will we have solved any of the problems that society considers important — will it matter? When I look at the frailty of life, it pleases me that greater things exist.